so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
