It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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