they need to just BURY HIM!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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