I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
