I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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