Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
