I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
