I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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