Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
