maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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