if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
only if we run a train.
done.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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