I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
