OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
