he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
