Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
