the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
