we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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