The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
