I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
