exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
