6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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