Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
