I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
