Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
