I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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