her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
