OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
