I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
