ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
