I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
