I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
mondays should just be called national damage control day
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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