Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
