You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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