Christians are straight up FREAKS
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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