You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
