This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
