their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
