he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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