i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
