This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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