you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
