Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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