Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize