you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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