I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
