do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
