I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
why do cheetos always look like penises
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
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