Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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