"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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