You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
