Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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