Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize