I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
