That's intense
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
