Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
