im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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