Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize