hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
