would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
