like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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