At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
