And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
