Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
