The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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