I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
