oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize